Wannabe Arsonist In Shirt Reading ‘GOD’ Tries to Burn Down The Satanic Temple’s Salem Headquarters

Ask your average hardcore Christian fundamentalist, and they’ll tell you that satanism is a cabal of murderers and rapists that has secretly operated behind the scenes of society for centuries (not most Christians, who are reasonable people that see the Bible has a series of informative parables and don’t cast God as some bloodthirsty drama queen). This is of course at odds with any history book, which is packed with countless diligently accounts of Christians doing a whole lot the murdering and the persecuting and the enslaving throughout history. Case in point, the Satanic Temple is a peaceful group looking to reform American society, which they believe has been warped by Christianity — while a dude wearing a shirt that just says ‘GOD’ on it tried to burn down the organization’s headquarters.

Yup, according to the Boston Globe, Daniel Lucey now faces charges of arson, interfering with civil rights, and vandalism to a place of worship, according to Salem PD. Because the Satanic Temple is a full-on religion. So technically, this was an attempted church burning. Guess he’s a black metal musician at heart?

The fire was called in at 10:49 p.m., “before it was able to fully engulf” the Temple. According to Temple head Lucien Greaves, the hardcore God stan “dumped an accelerant on The Satanic Temple headquarters and lit it on fire.” Greaves said that the damage was “not insignificant,” however, as the first “went up really fast.”

As you can imagine, we here at MetalSucks find this act the be very, very stupid. But we also want to make it clear that we find the burning of Christian churches to be very, very stupid, too. Burning down someone’s structure doesn’t stop their cause, it just makes you look like an ass and them look like a martyr. Burning something off only works for ticks. And if you’re a tick reading this, well, we’re not sorry. You gave me Lyme disease in 2018. Get eaten by a possum.

Anyway, check out the photos of this modern-day Matthew Hopkins below:

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